Tuesday, October 15, 2013

10 things I would like to tell my 13 year-old self

 
1.      You don’t need to fit in.
When you’re 13, everything is dramatic and the end of the world. If your crush is talking with someone else, or your best friend is mad at you…it’s not the end of the world. Be yourself. Wearing the name brands isn’t going to get you far in life, being kind and embracing who you are, will.
2.      Do what makes YOU happy.
Just because the “cool” kids are now listening to certain music, or hanging out at a certain place each Friday, doesn’t mean you have to pretend you enjoy it.  If you would rather be reading a book, or painting your nails… go do what makes you happy.  Don’t feel stupid if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to love.
3.      Don’t push your girlfriends aside just because you have a boyfriend.
Some girls learn this one the hard way. They give up everything they have in order to be with their boyfriend every second, of every day, and when they break up, the girl is completely lost because she pushed away her girlfriends. We’ve probably all been the friend that losses their best friend because of a guy too.   Try to balance time with each. Make sure that you leave some weekends to do makeovers, talk about girl stuff, and eat ice cream together. Show your girlfriends that you are able to have a boyfriend and still have time for them too!  Or most importantly, find a boyfriend that enjoys hanging out with you and your girlfriends too. Ps. Dating is not a necessity. You’re not as old as you feel.
4.      Listen in class.
Yes, each class can seem repetitive and it’s easy just to memorize the information for the test, but really listen to the facts, take notes, engage in your learning. Someday you will be glad you did. The information that the teachers give isn’t just “because they have to”… it is to better your future.  Yes, at the time it seems like a big deal to pass notes and see what everyone is wearing, but please listen.
 
5.      Try not to have expectations.
What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be. Don’t try and plan out what high school will be like, who your date for the prom will be. Okay, I know that is the fun part, but don’t EXPECT those things. Learn that things don’t have to go a certain way in order for you to be happy. Everything happens the way it is supposed to in the end. You’re right where you are meant to be.
6.      Take one day at a time.
 
Don’t wish your life away. It’s a good idea to set goals & just remember, you may not be there yet, but you are closer than you were yesterday.  It’s easy to live for the weekend, and count down the days until your 16th birthday, but don’t wish it away. Each day is precious. Every day holds a gift. Look for those small gifts hidden throughout the day. At 13, it’s easy to take life for granted, but try to remember that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, so live in the moment. Don’t stress about what college to go to, or why you don’t have a boyfriend and everyone else does. Take time to remind yourself that you can’t control the wind, but you can direct the sail.
7.      Be nice to EVERYONE.
 
If you like someone’s shirt, tell them. If you know someone is eating alone, invite them to your table. Don’t purposely leave people out when handing out birthday invitations.  Everyone has feelings, everyone has struggles, and everyone wants to be included. Be nice, be generous, and be thoughtful. We all know the golden rule.
8.      Listen to your gut instinct.
If your gut is telling you that staying out past your curfew is a bad idea, it’s a good idea to listen. Your gut will lead you in the right direction. If your gut is telling you that your friends are doing something wrong, listen to it & stand up for yourself. What you put up with, you end up with.
9.      Your parents really do know what they’re talking about (99% of the time).

I realize that every child goes through a stage where their parents are the stupidest people ever, and everything they say deserves an eye roll, but trust me, out of everyone… they are the last ones that deserve an eye roll. They are looking out for you. They want the best for you and are trying to protect you. It’s hard to listen to their life lessons and things that they learned the hard way, but stop & appreciate that they are trying to save you from heart ache. Just listen, hold that eye roll, and thank them for all that they do.
10.  You are beautiful.
Music videos, magazines, and social media all have high expectations. Therefore, we all think we are less if we don’t compare. Please don’t fall for that. You are unique & that is beautiful. No one on this earth looks like you, acts like you, or is you, embrace it!